When home is where your heart is, but also a physical place
After almost 2 years away from Sweden my home country, I was blessed with the possibility to visit. After going through all the necessary admin work and testing for covid19 I finally and eventually found myself bying a Max Original Burger (2 years later…) at Arlanda Terminal 5 in Stockholm. Finding my way to see my family in all around Mälardalen felt surreal and exciting, been so long. Meeting up with mother, father, sisters, brothers, bonus-siblings and bonus-dads and -mums. And new dogs… all felt surreal. Meeting Grandma after 2 years was of course extra emotional with how things have been last 16 months in a Global Pandemic. My heart was overwhelmed with emotions, we have been through so much since 2 years, yet it feels like we met yesterday. That feeling made me really happy, felt like new technology with videocalls really made a difference. Seeing everyone was so joyful, and that hug has been so long. It became evident as I could catch up with friends as well in Stockholm, that seeing everyone means so much. We cannot re-create the physical presence on video, we can add to emptiness but not replace the emotional space that us formed when seeing eachother in real life, if not evident before it became evident to me now, 2 years later. I had such a good time also finally eating my Swedish classics:
Kebabpizza (incl. Sallad and red/white sauces)
Kräm (apricot, fruit puré more close to a jam)
Pizza with Filé mignon and Bearnaise sauce)
Sill (herring) pickled in all this years special spices and classic mustard cream sauce
Mariekex (crackers)
Gott och Blandat (candy)
Hallonsoda (raspberry soda)
Folköl (beer with 3.5% alcohol, ”you never get drunk”)
Felix köttbullar med brunsås (meatballs with brown sauce) and mash potatoes and lingonberry jam.
All sorts of salmon versions…
I took the great opportunity to revisit my favourite places in Stockholm, and while biking around and Voi:ing (a scooter brand) I teared up in that beautiful City. I miss you Stockhome, a lot.
My view for almost 8 years on my way to work.. revisiting home.
As I walk around, swim in the beautiful waters around this City based on many islands, I also grow this massive feeling of how my ”home” is becoming divided. I start missing my physical home, my Berkeley walks and beautiful neighbourhood. I fell even more in love in Nature during this pandemic. Not only loving it, but deeply appreciating it and the need of having it around me. Perhaps it is a privilege to claim wanting renewable revolution, and more focus on wood and tree products, while loving and caring deeply for Nature and the existance of Nature diversity. But to me they go hand in hand, keeping Nature means nurturing means growing means possibilities. As I feel that strong longing back to my physical home, now the feeling that where I sit in Stockholm on this attached swimming deck in a marvellous spot på ”Söder” is home as well. An even deeper and stronger Home, where my heart is at. I miss my physical home, my things I use right now, not many but sherished. I could struggle being a Nomad. I feel so strongly that Home in my heart, is also where she is, Corinne. How do I make up a home in all this, perhaps there is naturally plural, the homes, the one in our heart and the one physical to us. My Home is however forever divided but drawn to Stockholm. You lovely City, I miss you tons. Especially all you wonderful people I had a chance to meet now while visiting both Friends and Family (and those I did not find time to see, you know who you are) ❤️❤️❤️ Hoping it is not 2 years until next time…
Just next to where I was swimming that day, sunny and amazing weather.